If you're not in therapy or waiting for treatment, consider these evidence-based coping strategies
Access to mental health care in the United States is hampered by numerous impediments, including a shortage of mental health care practitioners. These are not new issues, but they are startling when you realize that 53 million persons in the United States, or 21% of the population, had a mental health disorder in 2020, and 14 million adults, or 5.6%, had a major mental illness. Many people, according to mental health advocacy organizations, are unable to obtain mental health care when they are most in need, and millions go untreated each year.
In reality, a U.S. According to a March report by the Government Accountability Office, persons who attempt to seek therapy may discover that mental health care providers are not accepting new patients or have extensive wait times to see them. These obstacles can result in greater health-care expenses, longer wait times for care, and difficulty finding doctors close to home. What should a person do if they are going through a difficult period and cannot seek expert help?
What should you do if you don't have access to mental health care?
"I think skills are incredibly important because I do believe that one of the benefits of therapy is having a space to process and have someone listen and hopefully provide some reflections and insights and encourage insights," said Kathryn Gordon, a clinical psychologist and author of The Suicidal Thoughts Workbook: CBT Skills to Reduce Emotional Pain, Increase Hope, and Prevent Suicide. "However, it's also beneficial to have particular tasks that the person can do on their own, either when they're not in treatment or in between sessions."
Many skills, according to Gordon, can be taught outside of the framework of therapy when access to care is limited, such as through self-help books, free apps like Virtual Hope Box and COVID Coach, YouTube videos, and podcasts. Here are some strategies that can help you acquire better behaviors, self-soothe in stressful situations, and teach you how to talk more compassionately to yourself.
Concentrate on identifying your emotions
One of the most fundamental and vital abilities that people may master, according to Gordon, is how to identify their emotions. While this may appear to be simple, the psychologist argues that some people do not pause to consider their emotions. They may simply be aware of whether they are happy or sad. However, once an emotion is identified, an individual may feel a sense of relief or clarity about knowing what they're feeling, allowing them to self-validate.
For example, if a person recognizes that they are upset when something occurs, they can seek to understand why they are angry and find a solution.
"It is also the first step in determining what I require."
" Gordon explained. "Do I need to assert myself in some way if I'm angry?" Is it necessary for me to seek out and connect with someone if I am feeling lonely? I believe that identifying feelings is the first step toward the next step, which is to ask, "What do I need right now to tend to this emotion?" ”
Exercise mindfulness
In a similar line, mindfulness, as taught in dialectical behavioral therapy, or DBT, can be extremely beneficial. Mindfulness, according to Britt Rathbone, the founder and director of Rathbone & Associates in Maryland, is about being attentive. People cannot change their actions if they are unaware of what triggers the moods that cause them to engage in potentially dangerous behaviors.
Noticing thoughts and feelings is a component of mindfulness, according to Rathbone, and it may be learnt by employing a slightly different approach to language. For example, rather than saying, "I despise that person" or "That person despises me," Rathbone proposes approaching the topic from a different perspective. "I'm observing the thought that I despise that person" or "I'm noticing the notion that that person despises me" are two examples.
"What we're doing there is enlarging that lens a little bit and creating a [situation] where you're witnessing yourself thinking thoughts," Rathbone explained. "Because ideas aren't facts." So, if you can step outside the thinking, you can examine it and decide what to do about it in a different way than if you're inside the notion."
The therapist points out that by detecting the idea, feeling, or drive, clients have more room to consider how they will respond rather than going on autopilot, which is based on past learning. While autopilot is useful most of the time, it can get people into difficulty when they rely on learnings that are no longer functional or helpful, according to Rathbone.
Do the total opposite of what your emotions urge you to do
DBT also teaches the skill of opposite action. According to Rathbone, contrary action is a technique that people might utilize when their emotions become moods. While he emphasized that all feelings are acceptable and that everyone experiences them, an emotion becomes a mood "when we cultivate, feed, and connect with them."
Opposite action is a talent that can be employed when a person's mood or feeling does not match the facts and gives them the temptation to do something that may be counterproductive or even harmful in the long run. Rathbone believes that in those instances, people must evaluate the facts and do the opposite of what their emotions are prompting them to do.
As an example, he suggested imagining someone who is depressed because of a setback and wants to stay in bed. While mourning is a natural feeling in that situation, is staying in bed for extended periods of time an effective coping strategy?
"If we start listening to [the emotion] and never get out of bed, if we don't get up and do things again, it will lead to depression." "And then it becomes more difficult, and you dig deeper and deeper and further into this hole," Rathbone explained. "And so the opposite really starts to spin that spiral up again, so you're getting active, getting around others, and your mood starts to improve."
Keep an eye on your self-critical ideas and mental conversations.
Self-critical thoughts and negative dialogues are the last thing we need during difficult circumstances, especially if we wish to develop. Valentina Stoycheva, a clinical psychologist and proprietor of Stress & Trauma Evaluation and Psychological Services (STEPS) in Huntington, New York, claims that no one has changed their behavior because they shamed themselves.
Stoycheva emphasized the need of people having self-compassion for themselves as they learn to understand and monitor their thoughts and feelings without judgment. She's discovered that after being taught this skill, patients often return to tell her that they didn't understand how nasty and disrespectful they were to themselves.
"That's incredibly essential because if you want to change something and you're continuously shaming yourself and putting yourself down, it's going to be much more difficult," she explained. "A useful tactic in this case is to ask yourself, 'What would you say to a friend who is in the same situation and feeling the same way you are right now?'" ’”
Self-soothing can help you avoid a crisis
People who are going through a very difficult time may benefit from self-soothing, a DBT practice for distress tolerance. Rathbone indicates that many of the clients he encounters may do something in a bad situation, like as doing drugs, that will ruin their life permanently or will harm them in some way. People must reduce their level of intensity in these instances.
"If you think of mood on a scale of 0 to 100, you're not thinking clearly until you get over 80 or so," he explained. "Your mood has seized over, and you're going to do something rash and emotional."
Therapists use self-soothing to teach people how to do something else in that time to avoid or get through a crisis. According to Rathbone, self-soothing might entail a variety of activities. Some people enjoy petting their dogs, listening to pleasant music, watching a movie on Netflix, going for a run, or even playing video games.
While this skill is popular, Rathbone cautions that it is not the final solution. People's urges will return, which is why, once they've calmed down, they must begin problem-solving. Otherwise, you may become trapped in a loop of avoidance strategies to cope.
With radical acceptance, concentrate on what you have the ability to alter.
Radical acceptance is another distress tolerance technique taught in DBT, though Rathbone notes that it can be more difficult for people to learn. It's simple to remember because the name is self-explanatory. Radical acceptance is the belief that things are as they are, and that resisting reality would only make you unhappy, thus we should accept reality as it is, even if it is unpleasant.
He noted that when individuals are distressed, they are frequently fighting reality. However, if we accept reality, we can focus on what we can truly alter. Rathbone gave a simple example: assume someone was really distressed because they needed rain to water their garden. The person has no influence over whether it rains or not, but is nevertheless irritated and fails to consider other possibilities, such as watering the plants manually or purchasing plants that require less water. If the person can not understand that it is not raining, they will not find another way to water the plants and will continue to suffer.
Include self-care in your everyday routine
While self-care is a popular buzzword these days, Stoycheva believes its true significance in terms of mental health is widely misunderstood. She emphasized that self-care is not having a massage when something hurts, but rather taking steps to ensure that one is consistently OK. This can involve exercising out on a regular basis, going for walks on a regular basis, setting aside time for reading, or talking to a soothing friend.
"Some of these activities that benefit you must become part of your habit," Stoycheva explained. "You need to make time for them all the time, not just when you're in a crisis."
She also mentioned that when individuals are burned out, self-care activities are typically the first things to go—which is contradictory, because self-care activities provide a buffer against burnout.
Establish healthy personal and emotional boundaries
Learning how to set healthy limits is also a crucial skill for mental wellness. Having appropriate boundaries, according to Stoycheva, entails avoiding taking on others' feelings as your own and not attempting to cure those around you. Both tendencies can be extremely distressing.
She also mentioned that when individuals are burned out, self-care activities are typically the first things to go—which is contradictory, because self-care activities provide a buffer against burnout.
Establish healthy personal and emotional boundaries
Learning how to set healthy limits is also a crucial skill for mental wellness. Having appropriate boundaries, according to Stoycheva, entails avoiding taking on others' feelings as your own and not attempting to cure those around you. Both tendencies can be extremely distressing.
When Stoycheva treats patients, she may occasionally ask them what improvements they would like to see in an ideal world. When the person says they hope their child or partner would stop doing something, she stops them and explains that while she wishes that could happen, they aren't things the person has control over. She then attempts to reframe the individual's perspective by asking, "What things can you focus on that you have control over?" In this approach, she assists children in developing emotional boundaries.
Consider the challenges you're dealing with and divide them into two piles: those you can control and those beyond your control. After that, focus on the pile you can manage, according to Stoycheva.
Recognize your triggers
Although the term "trigger" is frequently used, it can apply to a variety of situations in mental health. According to Stoycheva, triggers can be frightening circumstances, specific persons, specific places, or even specific ideas. It could simply be a television show depicting something upsetting in your life. Knowing your triggers is vital so that people can avoid them or prepare for them if they are unavoidable.
If a person is provoked, they should not pretend it didn't happen since they will almost certainly react.
"It's best to plan ahead of time and be more cautious," she said. "So, something happened, and now I'm triggered." Allow me a few moment to read a book. Allow me to go calm down."
Examine the evidence for negative thoughts
Anyone who has dealt with chronic negative thoughts understands how frustrating they can be. It's unlikely that they'll ever fully vanish, but there is a technique for keeping negative ideas in check. Gordon adds that one effective technique to deal with negative thoughts is to look for evidence for and against them to see if they are true.
Say, for example, you have the impression that you are a bad person, she explained. In that case, we should ask ourselves a few probing questions. First, what evidence supports that thought? What evidence exists to refute such notion? Is there a more correct way to phrase this so that the severity of these unpleasant sensations might be reduced?
"If I'm thinking I'm a nasty person because I made a mistake or something like that," Gordon explained, "the evidence supporting it might be, 'Well, I made a mistake.' The evidence against it is that [it] doesn't reflect on me overall." "I'm thinking about some great things I've done that aren't bad person habits." So I might have a different thinking that is more correct, like, 'I'm not happy that I made that mistake, but generally, the evidence points to me being a kind person who is trying, and everyone makes mistakes.'"
Remember that this, too, shall pass
When it comes to dealing with stress, clinical psychologist Gordon agreed with Rathbone and suggested that people do something physically stimulating or positive to assist them get through the difficult time. She did, however, emphasize the importance of people in these situations remembering the effect time has on distress.
"Thinking about how, even if you didn't do any of those comforting self-soothing activities, you'll feel better just because our moods fluctuate." "And so, occasionally, that might assist folks get through difficult circumstances," Gordon explained. "I'm thinking, 'OK, this doesn't feel nice right now, but maybe it won't feel so horrible in an hour or two.'"
When should you seek expert assistance?
Rathbone, the dialectal behavioral therapist, emphasizes that practice is the essential to mastering any skill. While some individuals feel that mental health skills should be instantaneously effective, this is not the case—you must teach yourself how to do things differently via drilling and practice.
Furthermore, mental health care is not "one and done," according to Rathbone. It's similar to working out. You can get fit if you exercise, but if you quit, you will become unfit. Most significantly, it is critical to understand when exercising these skills alone is insufficient: anyone experiencing suicide thoughts or chronic discomfort should seek professional treatment immediately.
Stoycheva recommends seeing yourself as a thermometer. The thermometer at the bottom is green. At the top, it is followed by yellow, orange, and red. Green signifies you're in the clear. Even though you may be facing some difficulties, you feel fine, pleasant, and reasonably calm. The color yellow follows, indicating that there are some stressors. You're not feeling well, but you're getting by, and you can see a way out. It will be difficult, but you will succeed.
According to Stoycheva, the orange zone is located on top of the yellow zone and is where things begin to get problematic. People at this moment believe they are powerless and helpless. They've been feeling down for a few weeks now, or they can't seem to control their anxiousness. People with this mindset are aware that they are not OK and may begin to isolate themselves. They don't want to talk to anyone because it's too much for them, and they don't want to go anyplace. In other situations, they may be abusing substances or engaging in behaviors that are unhealthy or uncommon for them. At times, their eating may be disordered.
"Those are usually the occasions when you should seek out," Stoycheva remarked. "It suggests your nervous system has been overworked, and you've attempted to white-knuckle it on your own." Even though you're thinking to yourself, 'I've got this, I can do this on my own,' your body is telling you that you shouldn't have to. You may be the strongest person in the world and lift 300 pounds, but this one weighs 350. And you can't do it on your own."
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SOURCE: lifehacker
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