This Christmas, Pepsi really wants you to pour some Pepsi over milk. And so does Lindsay Lohan
Pepsi is joining the filthy soda trend for its Christmas marketing, pushing consumers to try "Pilk"—Pepsi blended with milk—which a press release describes as "a surprising and naughty new twist." (Working in PR must be either really tough or extremely simple, but I can't tell which.)
For the uninitiated, filthy soda is a long-time favorite Utah concoction that was recently popularized on TikTok, and it includes combining soda, heavy cream, and syrups to make a smooth, aesthetically beautiful drink. If you will, consider it a relative of the ice cream float.
However, "Pilk" is hardly the most appealing name for a drink. I'm referring to Pilk. PILK is similar to Victoria's Secret's PINK, which conjures up images of preteens stealing in 2007. But Pepsi has Coca-Cola beat since "Pilk" sounds better than "Cilk." Or is it Coilk? Coca-Milka? Moke? Do these all sound like slurs? Pilk. Fine.
Pepsi's chief marketing officer, Todd Kaplan, said in a statement, "Combining Pepsi and milk has long been a secret hack among Pepsi fans." "Now that the 'dirty soda' trend has taken off on TikTok and across the country, we thought Pilk and Cookies would be a great way to unapologetically celebrate the holidays with a new and delicious way to enjoy Pepsi this season."
Is it even conceivable for this combination to be a Pepsi fan's secret hack while also being a new and pleasant way to drink Pepsi? Also, who are these ardent Pepsi supporters, and why haven't they spoken up?
But, hey, whatever. If you try Pilk and decide you can't get enough of it and need bigger, better Pilk, Pepsi also has recipes involving other Pepsi products, such as a Wild Cherry version (1 cup Pepsi Wild Cherry, 12 cup milk, 2 tablespoons heavy cream, 2 tablespoons caramel creamer), and a Nitro Pepsi Vanilla version (12 cup almond milk and 4 tablespoons coconut creamer, mixed and poured over Nitro Pepsi Vanilla).
Instead of collaborating with Lactaid, the official Pilk Christmas advertisement includes Lindsay Lohan, star of a new Netflix Christmas movie/visual equivalent of a lobotomy. She's walking down the stairs in tartan pajamas and a Santa hat (traditional nighttime attire), taking a drink of Pilk provided by Santa, and commenting, "That is one dirty soda, Santa." Yes, a little bit! Pilk! PILK!
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