A three-tiered approach, as well as a great deal of honesty, will go a long way
The COVID-19 epidemic momentarily lowered the number of marriages, prompting individuals to reschedule or postpone their big day, but weddings are on the rise again. According to The Knot, 27 percent of last year's weddings were postponed, and guest list sizes increased closer to the pre-pandemic norm. More than 2 million nuptials are scheduled to take place this year—we're in the midst of a wedding boom, and would-be attendees are hoping for invites to make up for all the cringe-y DJs and free bars they missed in 2020.
But, no matter how desperately they want to come, you can't invite everyone to your wedding. Here's how you select who's in and who's out—then inform those who aren't invited that they won't be attending.
Recognize the purpose of your wedding
You'll have a lot on your mind when you begin the wedding-planning process. Consider what your wedding is actually about to bring yourself down to earth. This will assist you in making decisions.
Elizabeth Priya Kumar, CEO and Founder of Premini Events, stated that "like 150 percent" of her customers had difficulty with their guest lists. "Once you understand that this wedding isn't about you," she says flatly, "this is going to be extremely simple."
You could be tempted to say, "This is all about me; it's my big day!" "In a way, yes," Kumar said, "but it took a village to get you here." The day isn't only a celebration of your love, but of the tale of how it came to be—which involves a range of people.
"As much as you want to say it's a moment to celebrate your love—and I believe in that—a it's chance to respect your village," she added, adding that friends, family members, coworkers, students, and a variety of other individuals helped prepare you for your big day and the rest of your life.
Consider your parents as well, especially if they are covering a portion or the entire expense, as Kumar stated is frequent. She stated that there may be a "pay-to-play" aspect at work, and your parents may believe that if they write a check, they would be able to choose certain visitors. Is it really worth battling over your father's desire to invite his college friend, or should you pick your battles? That is entirely up to you, but take some time to consider the event as a whole and consider what it signifies beyond a celebration of just you.
Even when a parent is paying, these items may add up. You'll still have to pick who's worth the investment. According to The Knot, the average cost per guest in 2021 will be $266.
Make many guest lists
Kumar suggests making a three-tiered guest list so that "once the tier-one visitors start saying no, we go on to the tier-two list, and as the tier-twos say no, we move on to the tier-three level."
Tier one should include persons who are currently essential in your life, such as relatives, aunts and uncles, closest friends, and coworkers. Extensive friends and family, as well as previous employees, are in the second layer, while everyone else is in the third.
Allow yourself plenty of time for this as well, so you can still send out third-tier invites if too many first- and second-tier invitees reject. Kumar advised sending an RSVP function along with your save-the-date cards to your top-tier invitees. Ideally, you should plan things such that even if you wind up inviting lower-tier guests, you do it far enough in advance of the wedding that they don't realize they weren't high-priority.
If you are unable to invite someone, please be kind
Even with a new viewpoint on the function of the wedding and a tiered guest list system, some folks will simply not make the cut. Kumar stated that you can and should continue to be kind to those folks.
"I'm a huge believer in honesty being the best policy," she added, adding that she doesn't believe you should ignore the matter and hope the unwelcome guests don't bring it up. She said others she knows who came up with inventive solutions, such as offering to take unwelcome guests out to dinner in the future or even giving a modest gift. One of her clients sent a spice box to guests who didn't make the cut for their 100-person guest list, along with a letter that stated, "Please have us over for dinner as Mr. and Mrs. to celebrate privately with you."
"They made that individual feel incredibly special," she explained, "and they did it ahead of time so that nobody felt horrible and there was no shit-talking at all."
You may also blame COVID regulations, a desire for a modest gathering, or the challenges of your destination wedding. There are several reasons why an event may be scaled back these days, and if you don't dodge the matter, you can simply discuss them and move on with as little fuss as possible.
Don't allow a haphazard guest list ruin your day
It's a big thing that you're getting married. You're ready to spend a lot of money on a big party to commemorate your love and the individuals who helped make it happen. You don't need this kind of tension hanging over your head when there are so many other things to worry about.
That doesn't mean you won't become concerned with it. This is a global issue that affects everyone. According to new Hitched.co.uk statistics, 71% of British couples planning a wedding feel compelled to invite individuals they don't want, and 92% say the pressure comes from close friends and family members. Furthermore, 95% wish there was a fast method to notify folks they aren't invited.
At the height of wedding-planning panic, it may be tempting to simply tell someone that they are not invited (and Hitched.co.uk even made "you're not invited" un-invitations for the purpose—which sold out and are now available in digital-download form), but you should obviously resist that impulse unless someone is being particularly pushy.
"Our National Wedding Poll indicated that last year, the average number of guests at weddings in the UK was merely 72," Hitched.co.uk editor Zoe Burke said in a release revealing the findings of the site's survey. Choosing which 72 people to invite and who to leave off the guest list for your wedding is a difficult undertaking, and sometimes being subtle simply doesn't work."
Kumar insisted that you should always "lead with love" and avoid hurting anyone's feelings, which is sound advice. However, keep in mind that you have a lot of work to do and don't have much time to get distracted by a would-be wedding crasher. Your sentiments are important, too, but you can spare everyone a lot of sorrow and stress by approaching this strategically and addressing it early on.
#Wedding #WeddingPlanning #WeddingGuests
SOURCE: lifehacker
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