Personal grievances do not have to be a professional impediment
Isn't it fantastic to make friends at work? You may go out after work, lament about your common experiences, and be friends long after you've left your job. But, as nice as it is, there is a darker side to it: there are moments when you despise a coworker.
You can still be effective at work and get things done despite your strong disdain for a coworker. This is how.
"Professional detachment" should be practiced.
First and foremost, compartmentalize your emotions. This one is self-evident, but it must be maintained.
"Practice professional detachment," advises Laurie Reuttimann, an HR consultant and author of Betting on You: How to Put Yourself First and (Finally) Take Control of Your Career. "Treat that individual as if they were a client, not a coworker." If they're clients, you can maintain some emotional distance. You also have the ability to define boundaries. Finally, it makes no difference if they irritate you since, at the end of the day, they are simply not a part of your life. They are a member of your network. You may technically fire them emotionally."
One digital worker, who did not want to be identified because he did not want to burn professional bridges, described a moment six years ago when he worked with someone whose demeanor was harsh and whose outspoken views he found downright repulsive. "Honestly, we got along great," he added, adding that he quit the organization a few weeks later.
No, you do not have to give up. That's an extreme example, but it's absolutely an option—especially if you can find a better job and advance in your career. Instead, concentrate on the "Honestly, we got along well" bit, which is precisely what professional detachment produces. HRUTech's Tim Sackett, author of The Talent Fix: A Leader's Guide to Recruiting Great Talent, added that while quitting or simply ignoring the person can be tempting, it isn't a good look: "Running away might make you feel better immediately, but it doesn't help your career long-term, and it looks like you can't deal with people you don't agree with."
Instead, he said, "kill them with kindness and act as if you are completely happy with them, but restrict your contact," which might "drive them insane" and push them to go.
It is possible to despise someone while still working with them. Even if you believe their beliefs are bad, their acts are unforgivable, and their work is lousy, you can still do your share to treat them properly and professionally during business hours. Reduce your time spent with them as much as possible, put on a pleasant face when you must see them, and keep going like an adult.
Seek dispute resolution using all means required
Reuttimann stated that during her years in human resources, she was frequently in contact with employees. ("I worked in human resources, and I witnessed this every week; it's my life's tale.")
That disagreement, she says, needs to be resolved, and there are two ways to do so: establish a healthy compromise or discover a constructive solution.
If two people reach a healthy compromise, it means they both agree on what needs to be done, they respect one another, and they may not both win outright, but they "both win a little bit." If they reach a productive solution, it means they both hate each other, their differences are insurmountable, but they agree to "just get the job done."
Determine whether you are the source of the problem
Don't hate us for this, but have you considered perhaps you are the source of the problem? Do you resent your coworker for legitimate reasons, or do you despise them because they remind you of a past best friend? Are you simply in a terrible mood? Do you despise your job, and are you taking your rage out on the innocent individuals that work there? If they have the job you desire, are you blaming them for not performing it the way you would if you had the chance?
Workplace squabbles are nothing new. In 2012, Robert Sutton, a Stanford University professor of management science and engineering, told the Harvard Business Review, "When someone is doing better than us, we tend to scorn them." You should try to identify behaviors, not traits, that irritate you so you can determine if your dislike is rooted in something substantial.
However, only after work should you vent
Sure, gossiping with coworkers may relieve tension and provide a feeling of community, but don't gossip about your ostracized coworker to others at work. Do you truly know who's on your side, or may someone you vent to be a covert ally of your adversary, or an unbiased spectator who simply wants to stir up some drama and see it play out? Instead, vent your annoyances to your buddies outside of work.
You must maintain civility with your disliked peer, whether the anger is mutual or one-sided. Maintaining a professional manner at work is essential, as is being free to express yourself in your spare time, letting all of your feelings out and feeling less burdened by it all.
#CoWorker
SOURCE: lifehacker
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SOURCE: lifehacker
What do you think of this blog? Write down at the COMMENT section below.
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