Don't worry if you can't squirt (but here's how you can try). Forget what you've seen in porn and concentrate on your own enjoyment
When you Google "squirting," you get a mixed bag of results. There are publications claiming to be able to teach you how to accomplish it, as well as forums and blog entries disputing if it's even possible. And, of course, there's porn—a lot of porn.
Squirting is defined as "fluid released from the vagina during orgasm" by WebMD, the website we all know and love for helping us erroneously self-diagnose a terminal illness everytime we get a belly ache: "Squirting refers to fluid expelled from the vagina during orgasm." Not everyone with vaginas squirts during orgasm, and those who do may only squirt occasionally. A fast ejection of urine from the bladder is part of this sort of orgasm."
We know squirting can happen based on that (and all the porn), even if WebMD is correct that it's simply pee (though many experts differ about the urine thing—more on that later). Here's how you can try it or achieve inner peace if it doesn't work.
What exactly is squirting?
"Squirting is genuine for vagina owners," said Matt Lachman, proprietor of Cleveland Sex Therapy and a trained sex therapist. "When it comes to squirting, the argument among the sex therapy world and the medical profession is fairly fierce." It's not pee, but it's also not the fluid secreted when a vaginal lubrication occurs."
He explained that the fluid—whatever it is—comes from the Skene's glands, which are positioned on either side of the urethra in people who are born female. "What the fluid is, exactly," he noted, "is still absolutely unknown."
Sari Cooper, a professional sex therapist and the director of the Center for Love and Sex, told Lifehacker that while the fluid is discharged through the urethra, studies have discovered it is "substantially different from pee."
"Basically, the ejaculate includes high quantities of prostatic acid phosphatase, prostatic specific antigen, glucose, and fructose, but low levels of urea and creatinine," she explained, referring to the "opposite" of healthy urine. So, we know it's not urine, but the fluid's purpose is still up for discussion.
If you're trying to squirt, that might not be comfortable to hear. Lachman, on the other hand, believes that the emphasis should be on why you want to squirt rather than how you can.
How do porn and America's bizarre sex education fit in?
"When we look at people who identify as female vagina owners, they feel this strain in a relationship, like, 'Why am I not squirting?'" Is it okay if I squirt? Lachman elaborated. "And I believe the fundamental question is what is the point of putting someone under a lot of pressure to squirt?" ”
Squirting, a visible depiction of an orgasm, is essentially a performance that indicates the encounter's final purpose has been met.
He claimed that American sex education is "extremely, very terrible" (which is correct), and that kids here never understand the value of pleasure in sex. As a result, we turn to porn or value sex's "performance" over any joyful experience. Squirting, a visible depiction of an orgasm, is essentially a performance that indicates the encounter's final purpose has been met. When penetrating partners see their partner's orgasm, they may feel a sense of success. This puts both parties under strain and shifts the emphasis away from fun and closeness. At best, it's a diversion; at worst, it's a terrifying nightmare.
Lachman cautioned that penetrating partners should not regard it as their "work" to please their partner, and receiving partners should not regard it as their "duty" to put on a show. "Why the heck am I focused so much on giving my spouse anything instead of just focusing on us obtaining joys together?" he added. ”
That is, of course, easier said than done. He meets customers who tell him that their lover or girlfriend wants them to squirt. One may even feel compelled to compete with porn or previous partners who squirt. It can be annoying not to be able to squirt, which is strange given that researchers don't even know what the biological purpose of squirting is.
Furthermore, Cooper stated that individuals who squirt don't necessarily like it. "In my experience, women who ejaculate are really self-conscious about it and find it a turn-off to themselves, even if their partner isn't bothered by it or is genuinely turned on by it," she added. All this fanfare for something that many squirters wish they couldn't accomplish at all.
So, what is the greatest technique to experiment with squirting?
You may never be able to squirt or assist your spouse in doing so, which is perfectly acceptable. The best possibility you have, however, necessitates two conditions: the partner with the vagina must be calm, and their G-spot must be stimulated.
The main paradox here is how difficult it is to relax while under pressure to perform. Communicate openly with your spouse about your project. Have open discussions, and if you're the penetrating partner, make it obvious that you won't be disappointed if the other person doesn't follow through. Communicate during the experience, listen to each other, and, of course, stimulate the G-spot from the inside out using toys, fingers, or a penis. Practice makes perfect, and this may at least be enjoyable to practice, right?
"One can practice stimulating their G-spot (which is a spongy prostate on the anterior side of their vagina about 12-1" above the entry) in a come-here motion with two fingers, or use a sex toy that is specifically designed for G-spot stimulation," Cooper explained, adding, "The sensation is different from the arousal experienced with clitoral stimulation, so it's important to be mindfully breathing to remain in one's body without worrying about
Don't be disappointed if you can't squirt
Don't be disheartened, ashamed, or upset if you attempt and it doesn't work. There's a whole universe of exciting things to do in the bedroom. This is only one example.
"At the end of the day, sex is for pleasure and satisfaction," Lachman said. "What I tell my clients is, 'Focus on your enjoyment, focus on what turns you on, and talk to your partner about that." "So the discussion would be, 'Let's not focus on trying to achieve a goal.'" Let us not even think about attempting to have an orgasm. Let's just concentrate on feeling wonderful.' And whether it's visual, aural, or kinesthetic, I think squirting will be the least of anyone's worries."
Be honest with your spouse if they are making you feel awful about not squirting. Say some people do it and other bodies don't, and they're not just diminishing your odds of ever doing it by freaking you out, but they're also hurting your feelings in general. You have the right to leave if they continue to push you or disparage you. You don't have to put on a show for anyone or pretend to be someone you're not. Nobody has the right to make you feel horrible about your body, sexuality, or yourself. There are plenty of folks out there that don't mind if you're not a squirter and will emphasize your enjoyment before everything else.
"Too many individuals treat sex as if it were a competitive sport, leaving them feeling ashamed, shamed, and devoid of joy." Female ejaculation is something that some women can learn, while others may not be able to. "Appreciate trying while remaining completely present [with] what you do enjoy," Cooper, who invented the phrase "Sex Esteem" to empower and educate people through presentations and workshops, said.
And guess what? If you can't spray, at least you'll have less mess to clean up.
#SexEducation #Squirt #Squirting #Sex #Orgasm
SOURCE: lifehacker
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