You may believe you seem confident, but you may fact sound insecure
It's a wonderful thing to seem confident and educated at work, but occasionally we say things that we think show our worth as employees but really convey the appearance that we're snobbish or insecure.
Of course, your tone, context, and individual scenario all play a role, but there are several statements that are virtually always inappropriate in the workplace. Here's everything you need to know.
At work, avoid using these arrogant-sounding expressions
There's a narrow line between seeming confident and arrogant at work, according to Kathryn Petras and Ross Petras, authors of "You're Saying It Wrong" and hosts of the NPR program of the same name.
Using a 2011 research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, they created this list of statements that they think come off as arrogant and should be avoided at work:
- "I don't mean to brag, but..." — Fine, don't brag.
- "I already knew that..." (or "Doesn't everyone know that?") – Because everyone's lived experiences differ, the answer is no.
- "I'm pretty sure that..." — It's typically preferable to admit that you don't know something than to speculate or make up anything.
- "No offense, but..." – Saying that does little to ease the blow of what follows.
- Overuse of "I" (or "me") – It's probably not all about you.
- "Oh, I'm kidding!"
- " — This passive-aggressive slur doesn't give you the right to say anything you want. Also see: "No offense, but..."
- "You probably don't know this, but..." — Simply offer the facts without the disparaging qualifier.
- "If I were you, I'd..." – Was it directly asked what you would do if you were in their shoes? If not, then omit this sentence.
Workplace communication methods that are more successful
Instead of employing the terms listed above, the Petrases suggest the following broad approaches to professional communication:
- Listen to your colleagues and consider their points of view rather than presuming and claiming that you are always correct. Also, do not interrupt them while they are speaking.
- Stop talking merely for the purpose of talking, even if you think it helps you appear smart or confident. Your contributions to a conversation will have a greater impact if you contribute something fresh or useful.
- Instead of making everything about you and yours, ask others about their experiences. The same is true for opinions: just because you have one does not obligate you to share it.
- To seem like a team member, use more inclusive phrases like "we" and "our" instead of "I," "me," or "my."
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