It may appear to be pleasant at first, but it will only Make Matters Worse
Infidelity pierces the heart. If you've been cheated on, you're likely to experience a range of feelings, from resentment and rage to hurt and betrayal. Not unexpectedly, you may feel compelled to punish your spouse for the suffering they've caused you, including engaging in revenge infidelity.
"Revenge cheating" occurs when a person cheats on their partner in response to their partner's infidelity, according to Hannah Guy, a licensed clinical social worker. "Simply put, it's cheating on your relationship to retaliate for them cheating on you."
In the heat of the moment, revenge cheating may appear to be a quick cure, but it is not a healthy response to your hurt. Here's everything you need to know about vengeance cheating.
What exactly is Revenge Cheating?
"Revenge cheating" is defined as "discovering your partner had an affair (whether emotional or physical), and then actively cheating on them to 'get back at them," Guy says. When the betrayal is deep and there is a sense of entitlement for the commitment of years and work into a relationship, it is generally done in a long-term relationship and marriage.
Different types of Revenge Cheating
According to Guy, the two most common sorts of cheating are emotional and physical. "However, each relationship has its own set of rules regarding infidelity." I've spoken with several couples who consider watching porn to be cheating, whereas many other couples do not."
Emotional infidelity occurs when you are emotionally involved with another person without physical consummation, such as exchanging private stories, being someone's confidante, and forming an emotional relationship.
Physical infidelity occurs when a person has sexual relations with someone other than their partner. Sexting and sharing naked images are examples.
Why do people cheat for Revenge?
It all comes down to attachment trauma. Guy defines attachment trauma as "never having been taught how to have healthy and secure relationships with others." "For many, their parents cause this trauma while they are young." It is possible to have attachment trauma later in life (for example, if your partner cheats on you). This will then influence how you go with future relationships in order to keep you safe."
Guy believes that someone who has experienced this type of trauma has learned that the only way to respond to their partner's infidelity is to hurt them back. "This comes from a place of deep hurt, rage, loss, and abandonment anxiety." It's gotten to the point where the only way to feel in control again is to make your partner pain as much as you do."
Is Revenge Cheating beneficial to the relationship or partner?
Simply put, no. "Cheating, in general, undermines confidence between couples." "Revenge cheating may feel satisfying at first, but it will come back to haunt you," Guy adds. "Hurting your partner, particularly for vengeance, will not help or mend your relationship." It does not clear the slate because you are now 'equal' because you both cheated."
Guy believes that cheating for vengeance is never a good option, especially if you want to save the relationship. "Even if you don't want to repair your relationship, it doesn't help you heal from the hurt and pain your partner caused you." By revenge cheating, you're not only avoiding processing the betrayal you've experienced, but you're also jeopardizing your own morals and values, and you could suffer a great deal of guilt. As a result, you may experience thoughts of poor self-worth, and when you combine that with the loss you're already feeling as a result of your partner's infidelity, you're likely to feel even more grief.
What should Spouses do in the time of Infidelity?
"You're not going to be able to fix this on your own," Guy says. "The troubles you're facing were most likely existing before anyone cheated, and those concerns must be addressed alongside the issues that arose as a result of the adultery." Most likely, you and your partner have maladaptive communication patterns that are difficult to change. This is unquestionably the moment to seek professional assistance."
How do you forgive your Unfaithful Partner?
There is no how-to guide for forgiving your partner. "Everyone's journey to forgiveness will be unique." "I will add that forgiveness requires time and compassion," Guy says. "Do not rush. Allow yourself time to feel the anguish you're experiencing. You are inhibiting your ability to properly recover by forcing it."
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SOURCE: lifehacker
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