Experts believe there are three primary notions that originated the parenting approaches we use today, whether you choose a soft parenting approach or make your expectations for your children very apparent
Everyone who spends their days raising (and occasionally wrestling) children has already selected a parenting style, whether they realize it or not. And, much like the various forms of parenting, the way parents interact to and communicate with their children can vary greatly.
Parents may be open about their parenting approaches and how they communicate expectations to their children, whether it's in an online forum or during a playdate. Are they a strict parent that demands a lot from their children? Do they practice attachment parenting, addressing their infant's demands with a few extra snuggles along the way? Or do they fall somewhere in the center, employing the permissive parenting technique of balancing moderate demands with great responsiveness to their children's needs?
It's natural to wonder if rigorous restrictions or free-range parenting will work best for your family, and to ponder how a certain parenting style may effect kids' mental health and child development.
Where did these parenting methods originate? And how can first-time parents decide which type they want before their kid is born? To decode the decision, Yahoo Life spoke with Francyne Zeltser, a child psychologist, licensed school psychologist, adjunct professor, and mother of two.
Where did parenting styles originate?
When Diana Baumrind, a psychologist at the University of California, Berkeley, conducted an experiment on children and their interactions with their parents in the 1960s, parenting styles became a child development concept. According to Baumrind's observations, preschoolers' conduct was tied to how they interacted with their mothers and fathers.
Baumrind's hypothesis: Diverse parenting techniques can result in different child development and behavioral results.
The psychologist performed in-depth interviews with both the kid and the parent, as well as hours of observation and data analysis, in order to discover three unique parenting styles: authoritative parenting, authoritarian parenting, and permissive parenting.
Hundreds of various parenting techniques have come and gone in the more than 50 years since, including attachment parenting, tiger parenting, and free-range parenting. The sheer amount of parenting styles available can be intimidating for new parents considering who they want to be as parents and how they want to interact with their children.
The good news is... "They're all variants on Baumrind's original three styles," Zeltser explains. "And as the pendulum swings back and forth between 'children should be seen but not heard' and 'children should be seen and heard,' new trends form and vanish."
So, what should parents know about Baumrind's three original parenting styles, according to Zeltser?
Parenting that is authoritarian
It is as follows:
According to Zeltser, all parenting methods lie somewhere on a scale between warmth and control.
"It's on the low end of warmth and the high end of control in the case of authoritarian parenting," she adds.
According to Zeltser, parents nowadays may consider this type of parenting approach to be typical of their parents' or grandparents' generations. "It's kind of like the'my way or the highway' mindset," she says.
Variations on the authoritarian parenting style include "tiger parenting," in which children are directed primarily toward high-achieving, high-status employment where academic achievement is prioritized and other careers are viewed as less desirable or not ideal. Another version on this subject is "helicopter parenting," which aims to manage a child's results in all aspects of their lives, from the soccer field to college applications.
How it impacts children:
Children of authoritarian parents, on the other hand, are goal-oriented, risk-averse when it comes to safety, and typically on their best behavior, especially in social and public settings. According to Zeltser, "authoritarian parenting can contribute to unfavorable long-term results in children." "These youngsters tend to be introverted or insecure, always worried about making a mistake; mental illness, particularly anxiety and sadness, can be widespread."
According to Zeltser, children with authoritarian parents often have low life satisfaction and deficient coping abilities.
Parenting that is permissive
It is as follows:
Baumrind observed permissive parenting to be the polar opposite of authoritarian parenting, with a great degree of warmth and a low degree of control.
"In this parenting style, we just let children explore and pursue their interests and explore the world," Zeltser explains, "it's a child-led approach rather than a parent-led one."
According to Zeltser, there are certain advantages to this parenting style: "It lends itself to eliminating the judgment from parenting." "You're letting your youngster be themselves and discover what they enjoy and dislike."
According to Zeltser, the issues begin when there is no structure at all. "Kids do require standards to obey," she says.
"Free-range" parenting is a variation on permissive parenting in which parents allow their children to explore but also allow them to experience the consequences of their actions, the polar opposite of the "helicopter parent." "Indulgent parenting" is an even further departure from the controlling end of the spectrum, in which parents typically allow children to do whatever they want with little guidance or direction. Some describe this parenting style as being more like a "friend than a parent."
How it impacts children:
Children raised by permissive parents are less scared than those raised by authoritarian parents, and they are more curious and interested in new experiences. "The downside is that many children of permissive parents are less aware of the boundaries of appropriate conduct," Zeltser adds. "Because there isn't much regulation coming from the parent, parents may also witness low academic success, bad decision making, and violence."
Parenting with authority
It is as follows:
Baumrind's observations, not to be confused with authoritarian parenting, identified authoritative parenting as the perfect balance of control and warmth between parent and kid.
"It's a balanced approach," Zeltser adds, "between establishing structure and standards and helping children and addressing difficulties with them rather than for them."
According to authoritative parenting, children should not only be seen and heard, but they should also comprehend and be understood. "You have an open and honest discourse with your children, and frequently you can come to a compromise or at the very least they'll understand where you're coming from when you have a rule in place," Zeltser adds.
There are as many variations on authoritative parenting as there are stars in the sky, including "attachment parenting," "mindful parenting," "slow parenting," and "respectful parenting," also known as "resources for infant educarers" or "RIE" parenting, which emphasize collaboration over authority and respect over punishment.
How it impacts children:
According to Zeltser, children of authoritative parents have some of the finest results, as they are more likely to be independent, self-sufficient, academically successful, and generally well-behaved.
"These youngsters learn about boundaries and why they exist," she explains. "As a result, kids are better equipped to make life decisions when they are aware of the potential ramifications of those actions."
According to Zeltser, children with authoritarian parents are less likely to suffer from depression and anxiety, as well as engage in antisocial conduct and hostility.
Dorothy Creek, a mother of three from Pocatello, Idaho, selected a strict parenting approach for her children. "I've made a point of telling my children how much I adore them for who they are, not what they do," she adds. "However, we are explicit about the expectations as well as the repercussions for failing to achieve those things."
BreAnn Alvey, a mother of six and piano instructor from Rock Springs, Wyoming, and her husband selected an authoritarian method when they started their family. Nonetheless, Alvey confesses that when more children entered the scene and their children grew up and evolved, their parenting approach had to be adjusted.
"As the eldest children have grown older and I've matured as a person, I've relaxed a little more," she adds. "It's been beneficial to see a variety of parenting approaches to understand what annoys me about them and what aspects of them could work for my family."
According to Zeltser, because there is so much information available, it may take parents some trial and error to determine what works best for their family. "Reflect on your own childhood experiences, and if you have a parenting partner, ask them as well," she advises. "What did you enjoy and dislike about your parenting, and how would you do things differently?"
She also recommends attending parenting courses and listening to podcasts to understand more about the many parenting methods available.
Above all, Zeltser advises parents to be patient with themselves and their children.
"You have to be patient," she says. "Three to six weeks of constant practice [in one parenting style] will show you what's working and what isn't. [If things don't work out], give yourself a break and remember that everyone, including your children, is only human; we all have to do the best we can and that's it."
#psychology #childpsychology #mentalhealth #parenting #parentingstyle
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