A failed relationship will not destroy your self-worth or self-esteem but it can make you feel bad about yourself. How can you get over a failed relationship?
In a dating scenario, two people often have to get past their differences to get to the point of compatibility. A third-party relationship analyst, however, is required to get past the problems to figure out what is happening and create some solutions for how to get over a failed relationship.
The following strategies can help.
Every relationship, and every breakup, is unique. I all, haven't we all entered "how long get over breakup timeline" into our search bar at some point? Regrettably, there is no mathematical calculation that can compute a certain timeline for recovering from heartbreak (at least not according to Oprah Daily).
The difficulty of getting over a breakup is sometimes attributed to a lack of closure. "Closure" is usually portrayed as a supernatural remedy to a wounded heart. You can finally move on after you receive that closure (at least, that's what you convince yourself to justify reaching out to an ex); so here are some actions you can take to pursue that elusive closure.
Consider your breakup as a death.
We've already discussed why it's important to face the loss of a relationship with the appropriate amount of sadness and grief. "The process of dealing with a breakup is analogous to bereavement," clinical psychologist Dr. Tricia Wolanin tells NBC News, referring to the fact that you are effectively losing someone who was a significant part of your life. You need time and space to thoroughly absorb the death of a relationship, just like you do with any other death.
Allow yourself to go through all of the phases of grieving, even if it seems exaggerated. How you cope will change from person to person, but the crucial point here is that you allow yourself to be sad in order to move forward to acceptance (read: closure).
Consider your relationship as an injury.
If the death comparisons bother you, Dr. Andrea Liner advises SELF to think of your relationship as a broken limb. The concept is that you should treat "emotional ailments" with the same compassion and care as you would treat a physical condition. Again, the key here is to give yourself the time and attention you need to recognize—and treat—your discomfort. Some things you just can't get away from.
Spend time alone with yourself.
There are several reasons why you require alone time, and the period of grief following the end of a relationship is an important time to reflect on your own. As therapist Jeff Guenther elaborate on a viral Instagram post on tips for closure in this TikTok, this might be a good moment for you to figure out who you are as an individual. Rather than hurting yourself with countless "what ifs," concentrate on all you learnt from this relationship.
If you want some alone time that isn't all about silent introspection, try doing 10 activities that your spouse wouldn't do with you. Enjoy yourself by doing activities that make you feel good about yourself.
![Take comfort in old friendships. However, you don't want to spend too much time alone once a romance ends. One of the most crucial things you can do after a rough split, argues Katie Bogen for Vox, is to reconnect with old pals. These special relationships, according to Bogen, had the power to remind her that "there were pieces of [her] past unburdened, or possibly even strengthened, by the breakup." Even if these people aren't your primary support system, reconnecting with old friends could be the restorative distraction you need. True closure comes from inside, although some solace can only be found among friends.](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgOSY8G3AoKn-joJnjtsvBzwwQSg54k62afgt9f1k3D3UDQ73wpYhmkHw32wd9TODKR5vrUui2CLsgmrcEuGff2OHbZusUyPOrThn84YQPv8xDP6dIPNsd6wKxU9d8xLC1wIKYwoGmBDc/w640-h426-rw/image.png "Take comfort in old friendships. However, you don't want to spend too much time alone once a romance ends. One of the most crucial things you can do after a rough split, argues Katie Bogen for Vox, is to reconnect with old pals. These special relationships, according to Bogen, had the power to remind her that \"there were pieces of [her] past unburdened, or possibly even strengthened, by the breakup.\" Even if these people aren't your primary support system, reconnecting with old friends could be the restorative distraction you need. True closure comes from inside, although some solace can only be found among friends.")
Take comfort in old friendships.
However, you don't want to spend too much time alone once a romance ends. One of the most crucial things you can do after a rough split, argues Katie Bogen for Vox, is to reconnect with old pals. These special relationships, according to Bogen, had the power to remind her that "there were pieces of [her] past unburdened, or possibly even strengthened, by the breakup." Even if these people aren't your primary support system, reconnecting with old friends could be the restorative distraction you need. True closure comes from inside, although some solace can only be found among friends.
Make a list of things to look forward to.
Remember that closure isn't only about validation; it's about being able to go on without your past relationship occupying your every waking moment. The last stage of mourning, according to folklore, is acceptance. But anybody who has lost a loved one understands that sadness comes in waves. Sometimes you think you've made progress, just to have a wave slap you in the face or take you beneath the surface. Focus on the future to keep your head above water. And, as unpleasant as it may seem, believe in the potential of time to heal your wounds.
Some quick suggestions for being more forward-thinking include organizing tangible things that offer you delight, such as attending concerts, training for a marathon, or visiting out-of-town friends. Make plans for yourself to look forward to.
Final Thoughts on Closure
Closure is not simple, and it will not look the same for everyone. As vital as reconnecting with yourself as an individual is, keep in mind that you don't have to do it alone. Don't be hesitant to count on your friends for support, or to consider seeing a therapist. And one day, as The All-American Rejects put it, you'll "move onward."
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SOURCE: lifehacker
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