-: [REVIEW] Greenland 2: Migration

Gerard Butler Walks Across Europe for 98 Minutes in Greenland 2: Migration

Remember 2020? Of course you do. It was the year the world actually felt like it was ending, which was naturally the perfect time for Greenland to drop—a movie where Gerard Butler outruns a planet-killing comet named Clarke. It was surprisingly stressful, surprisingly good, and featured a child actor who needed insulin every 45 seconds or the plot would explode.

Well, it’s 2026, and apparently, we needed more. Welcome to Greenland 2: Migration, a sequel that asks the brave question: "What if we took the disaster out of the disaster movie and replaced it with a lot of walking?"

The Plot

In case you missed the trailer between ads for insurance. It’s been five years since the Garrity family locked themselves in a bunker in Greenland to avoid becoming space dust. John (Gerard Butler), Allison (Morena Baccarin), and their son Nathan (now played by Roman Griffin Davis, who has aged into a completely different human being) are tired of freeze-dried peas and underground bunk beds.

The bunker is failing because of course it is, so they decide to leave. Rumor has it there is a magical crater in Southern France where the air is clean, the birds are singing, and the rent is affordable. To get there, they have to cross a Europe that looks less like a travel brochure and more like a Fallout server that crashed.

The Good: Gerry B, King of the sad-Dad Grunt

Gerard Butler is the only man in Hollywood who can make dying of radiation poisoning look weirdly heroic. He spends the entire movie coughing into a handkerchief while carrying the emotional (and physical) weight of his family. He’s like a majestic, Scottish pack mule.

The chemistry between him and Baccarin is still there, mostly communicated through intense stares that say, "I can't believe we survived an extinction-level event just to die on a rickety ladder in Dover."

The Bad: The "Floor is Lava" Energy

The first movie was a race against the clock. This movie is a race against... geography?

The centerpiece of the film involves the family crossing a dried-up English Channel. Yes, you read that right. They literally walk from England to France. But instead of taking a nice flat path, the director decided to turn the Channel into a platformer video game level. There are abysses, unsteady rope bridges, and ladders that violate every OSHA regulation known to man. At one point, I expected Mario to jump out and hand John a mushroom.

Also, can we talk about the "obstacles"? In the first movie, the obstacle was THE APOCALYPSE. In this movie, the obstacles are:

A very rude man in Liverpool.
A lack of AA batteries.
A ladder that squeaks ominously.

Bottom Line

Greenland 2: Migration is the movie equivalent of a hangover. The party (the comet) is over, everything hurts, and now you just have to trudge home in the cold.

It’s grim. It’s grey. It features trench warfare in France for reasons I still don't understand (did the apocalypse bring back WWI reenactors?). And spoiler alert: If you thought Marley & Me was a downer, wait until you see how they wrap up Gerard Butler’s character arc. Let’s just say he won’t be in Greenland 3: Real Estate Agents of the Apocalypse.

Watch it if: You love rope bridges, enjoy watching Gerard Butler suffer, or have a deep desire to see what the White Cliffs of Dover look like without the water.

Skip it if: You prefer your disaster movies to have, you know, fun disasters.

About the Writer

Jenny, the tech wiz behind Jenny's Online Blog, loves diving deep into the latest technology trends, uncovering hidden gems in the gaming world, and analyzing the newest movies. When she's not glued to her screen, you might find her tinkering with gadgets or obsessing over the latest sci-fi release.

What do you think of this blog? Write down at the COMMENT section below.

-

Pages