How many times a day are you going to check Instagram to see whether they've followed someone new?
Following a split, you may feel forced to glance at your ex's Instagram (or Facebook, Venmo, or LinkedIn...). Ideally, you'll see them failing and feel victorious, even though you know that's not the case: most people don't broadcast their low points online.
You're more likely to see them succeeding—or appearing to succeed—and this might be detrimental. Plus, you shouldn't be attempting to "win" against them in the first place; instead, you should be attempting to recover and move on for your own benefit. So it's time to quit stalking your ex. Here are a few ideas to get you started.
Why should you unfollow your EX on social media?
The unpleasant fact is that you don't need to see that person's postings, and they don't need to see yours. If you're putting off banning your ex because you want them to see you prospering or looking nice, be honest with yourself. You're making reasons to avoid removing them from your life.
"Delete," as Cynthia Bailey of Real Housewives of Atlanta famously said. Erase. Unfollow. "Whatever." Remove them from your social media feeds.
Of course, even doing this most simple step does not guarantee that you will never check for their profile again. Kelsey Weekman, a Verizon Media writer who covers internet culture, social media, and Generation Z, told Lifehacker that following a symbolic or performative banning, many individuals switch to utilizing their burner or secondary accounts to stalk an ex. She mentioned a TikTok trend in which producers confessed to doing precisely that, as well as other "toxic" post-breakup practices. You're not by yourself.
You separated for a purpose. The partnership was fraught with difficulties. You've already given them plenty of your time and energy.
To break your creeping habit, call for assistance
Weekman advised looking into programs that will prevent you from accessing social media at all, but she also mentioned that your own friends may serve a similar function.
Katherine, a 29-year-old woman from the Upper Midwest who declined to share her last name because she doesn't want her blocked exes to learn anything new about her, claimed her friends assisted her in breaking her lurking habit. She claimed that during the first two weeks after her split, she checked her ex-Twitter, boyfriend's Instagram, and Facebook accounts at least once a day, if not more.
"It was simply strange not being in contact with him and knowing what he was up to all the time." "I felt like browsing at his social media filled the hole left by contacting him," she explained. "I was also concerned that I'd see images of him with other girls."
Because of her loneliness and worry, she checked his accounts so frequently that she did it even while she was out with her friends, one of whom ultimately snapped when they were at a diner, compelling Katherine to block him on the spot. That was "very beneficial," she remarked.
"You must determine whether or not you want to quit talking to the individual." You have to tell yourself, 'I'm going to do whatever it takes to feel well.'"
Make a choice and keep yourself accountable to it
Breaking any habit takes self-motivation. Friends can urge you to leave an ex alone, stop chewing your nails, or quit smoking, and you can buy goods to help you stop doing such things. Still, just as you might miss your nicotine chew and sneak a cigarette without your accountability buddies, you may get around a roadblock and slip right back into your bad creeping habit.
You must make the decision to halt. Recognize that focusing on that other person rather than yourself is unhealthy for you. You separated for a purpose. The partnership was fraught with difficulties. You've already given them plenty of your time and energy. The time has arrived for you to cease focusing on them and instead focus on yourself.
Furthermore, it will not be helpful for you if they find a new partner and you stop comparing your management of the split to theirs and begin comparing yourself to the new person.
"You must determine whether or not you want to quit talking to the individual." "You have to say, 'I'm going to do what I'm going to do to ultimately feel better,'" said Weekman, who has been researching the "breakup side of TikTok" and how the newly single transform their healing into performance or openly embrace poison by pushing one another to lurk on exes' accounts. "If you're truly tired of them, you'll block them."
Don't chastise yourself
But what if you're not really over them—at least not yet?
While you must keep yourself accountable, buckle down, and break the vicious loop of scanning their profile for new followers or hints about the identity of your destined successor, you must also realize that healing takes time and is unique to each individual. Allow yourself some leeway. Don't feel too awful if you check at their Instagram after a stretch of not peeping.
Or, as Weekman said, use the unpleasant sensation as a deterrent to doing it again.
"Shame may be a great motivator, but it will never make you feel better," she says. So, confess you made a mistake, but don't linger on it.
"It's easier said than done, of course, but try not to feel bad since we practically all do it," Katherine concurred. Everyone has a crush on their ex."
Then she took us back to square one: "But if it's becoming unhealthy or hurtful to you, definitely block them." So, what are you waiting for?
#BreakUp #Relationship #ExBoyfriend #ExGirlfriend
#SarcasticGamer #SarcasticReview
SOURCE: lifehacker
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