Please Do Not Say These Things to Someone Who Doesn't Drink. Let us stop bullying folks who don't drink this Christmas season (and afterwards).
The new year has arrived, and with it, a great night of partying. From Thanksgiving to boisterous Secret Santa exchanges to New Year's Eve, there are plenty of occasions to congregate and be merry—the majority of them with gallons of booze.
If you're clean or attempting to decrease your alcohol use, this might be a difficult period. Increasing gatherings frequently bring increased pressure to drink, which, even if meant congenially, might make a non-drinking visitor uncomfortable. However, according to the Washington Post, 30% of American adults do not drink at all. So, in the spirit of respecting people's choices, privacy, and comfort, here are some things not to say when an adult beverage is declined.
“Why not?”
It's natural to be inquisitive about other people's lives, but that doesn't imply we may interrogate them without consequence—especially during a joyous gathering. It's a highly intimate question that may make a non-drinker feel compelled to divulge personal information with which they may not be comfortable. (Or the other horrible option: lie.) It might be for religious, health, or addiction reasons, or for other personal reasons. None of which are anyone's concern until they agree to provide them on their own.
"Are you certain? ”
"I've already answered that question," I often tell my children when they ask me the same question numerous times in the hopes of getting a different answer. Whether you have to inquire if someone is sure, it implies they've already said "no"—an answer that should be respected.
"Can't you just have one?!"
This individual may have agonized about whether or not to attend this party in the first place, knowing that there would be booze (and others attempting to force it on them) everywhere. This phrase is, at best, irritating public peer pressure; at worst, it might lead to a hazardous relapse for someone in recovery.
"You're no good."
Can you picture coming to a party, minding your own thing, trying to have fun, and someone accusing you of being dull because you're not drinking? Avoid this remark, as well as "loosen up" and "you're losing out," because they might have the most intriguing history or the finest conversational skills in the room. Let's not destroy anyone else's mood just because we can't stand the thought of them not falling down the rabbit hole of drinks with us.
"Are you expecting?"
The first rule of women's bodies is to never question what's going on inside their bodies casually. Unless they're a very excellent buddy. But what about a friend or coworker? That is an obvious no. Perhaps she is, but she isn't ready to make it public just yet. Maybe she's trying, but she's having trouble. Perhaps she isn't and never wants to get pregnant. Sorry, how did we get back here? Oh, and asking an improper, intrusive question because someone declines to drink. Let's not do it.
“Wow. Crazy.”
When you consider how much damage alcohol can cause in people's physical and personal lives, it's amazing how casually we have come to view its usage. It's more normal to tell "funny" anecdotes about getting blackout drunk than it is to just allow a non-drinker to exist at a social occasion. The decision to abstain from alcohol is neither insane or strange. In truth, it's often for mental or physical betterment, which should be praised rather than condemned.
"Does it bother you if I drink?"
While this may be a well-intentioned question, it's a strange one to ask during a social gathering based on drinking. It not only emphasizes their abstinence, but it also implies that they care about your drinking or are casting judgment on it. It's like riding a roller coaster and asking the person next to you, "Do you mind if I yell?" " No, they don't. It's to be anticipated. Go ahead and do it.
"I'd never be able to accomplish it."
Congratulations? No one is advising you to do so. It is neither a competition or a measure of moral superiority to refrain from drinking. There is no need to compare your decision to drink to their decision not to drink.
“Sweet! Could you please drive me home? ”
Just because someone is going to be sober for the evening does not imply they want to be the default Uber driver. Allow them to enjoy the evening without being pressed for favors at the last minute.
What should you say instead?
Because social drinking is so common—even expected—in American society, it might be startling when someone does not partake. While we may be perplexed as to why, confronting them with judgemental or intrusive words is never acceptable.
Instead, if you're entertaining, be sure to have a range of non-alcoholic beverages readily available. Simply respond, "Oh, can I get you something else?" when someone declines a cocktail. Maybe some soda or seltzer? " And include them like you would any other partygoer.
#SarcasticGamer #SarcasticReview
SOURCE: lifehacker
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